I don’t know about you, but I talk about sleep like I actually understand it and often say the same things, knowing I don’t believe most of it when I say it. “I’ll sleep when I’m done.” “I just need to get through this week.” “I’ll catch up this weekend.” “I’m fine. I’m just tired.” Let’s be honest though, how long have we been just tired? For me, for far too many years, sleep has become a misnomer in a culture that celebrates being busy, praises productivity, and treats exhaustion like proof that we are doing enough. We say we value sleep while cutting it short. We call lying in bed with our minds still racing “rest.” We convince ourselves that a few hours are enough because there is simply too much to do.
Then, if you’re like ME, you at times wonder, why things aren't functioning the way they should. I can’t concentrate, I’m irritable, simple decisions feel overwhelming. My body and mind is tired, my patience is gone and I’m not functioning at my best because I am exhausted.
It is time to stop treating sleep as a misnomer and start treating it as what it actually is… A necessity. Somewhere along the way, we learned to treat rest as something we receive after everything else has been handled. We take care our families, our children, our homes, the bills, the appointments, the problems, and everyone else's needs. Whatever remains at the end of the day should belongs to us, but far too often, nothing remains and we are still expected to rinse and repeat, day after day after day.
That has to change because sleep isn't a luxury, rest isn't laziness and as you know, taking care of ourselves isn't selfish. Our needs do not belong at the bottom of our own to-do list.
There will always be something else to do, fix, answer, solve, and another person who needs something. If we wait until everything is finished before allowing ourselves to rest, rest will always be postponed. People become accustomed to the version of us who always says yes. The woman who figures it out, stays late, answers the phone, carries the extra weight, who makes sure everyone else is okay, the one who keeps pouring long after her own cup is empty. When we repeatedly make ourselves available without boundaries, people in our lives learn that we will continue giving and eventually, we run ourselves into the ground so completely we no longer recognize the woman staring back at us. That is not wellness. We CANNOT pour from an empty cup; we cannot continuously ask the exhausted version of ourselves to perform like a rested one. WE JUST CAN’T DO IT!
Saturday night, my body reminded me of this lesson in real time. After spending time outside in 90-plus-degree Georgia heat, being around people, and simply reaching the point where I was mentally and physically done for the week, my body made the decision clear: “We’re doing this now.” I needed rest and I listened. I slept for nine hours straight and NO I didn't feel guilty about it! I didn't convince myself I should be doing something else and I didn't treat those hours as time I had lost. My body needed recovery, and giving it what it needed was productive in its own right. We have to stop treating exhaustion as something to push through simply because there are still things that could be done.
Listening to your body is part of taking care of yourself. When it tells you that you are tired, rest. When you have reached your limit with people, give yourself space. When your mind needs quiet, create it. Our bodies communicate what they need long before complete exhaustion forces us to listen. The goal is to listen before we reach that point. Saturday night, my body said, “We’re doing this now,” so I listened and that is exactly what taking care of yourself requires.
Taking care of ourselves means saying no. It means turning off our phones, leaving something unfinished, and refusing to solve problems that do not belong to us. It means protecting our time, our energy, and our peace, and recognizing when we have given enough for today. Taking care of ourselves does not diminish the love we have for the people who depend on us most. Our wellness cannot continuously be sacrificed to keep everyone around us comfortable. Our bodies need care and our minds need quiet. We need sleep. Yes, it really is THAT straightforward.
Let the dishes wait. Ignore the message. Turn off the TV or exit your favorite streaming platform. Plug in your phone, put it on DND, lie down, and take a nap. Decide that sleep will no longer be a misnomer in your life, just something you constantly talk about needing but somehow never make room to receive. Prioritize sleep. You deserve more than functioning well enough to keep everyone else’s world moving. You deserve to have energy left for yourself, to be present in your own life, and to wake up feeling like yourself again.
You deserve rest because YOU need it.
